How To Overcome Those Beliefs That Limit You

Uncategorized Dec 10, 2019

Have you ever experienced this situation? You try to change a certain behavior or habit only to realize not much later you’ve reverted back to the exact behavior you were trying to change before? You’re not alone in this, and there’s a reason this happens. It all stems from the beliefs you have at a subconscious level that makes it difficult to change the actions you’re taking to get the result you’re looking for. Keep reading to find out why exactly that happens and how to fix it.

 

The Pyramid Of Behavior

Your beliefs impact your thoughts. Your thoughts lead to your actions. Your actions create the results you see in the world.

  1. Results
  2. Actions
  3. Thoughts 
  4. Beliefs 

Most people try to change their behavior on the results level. We have probably all tried to implement a new strategy. A few months down the road you give it up and go back to what you were doing before. 

The reason that happens is you are trying to change at the Action level of the pyramid. But what you may not know is that the actions come from the thoughts, and those thoughts come from the beliefs you have about the world.

Beliefs are subconscious stories we tell ourselves. 

Beliefs are literally the lens through which you view the world. They can influence your perceptions, define what is good, bad, true, real and possible. They can skew your perspective in positive or negative ways. They can direct and/or limit the actions you take, shape your character, affect your relationships, and establish a specific course you will follow. They can determine your health, harness or hijack your passion, and lower or raise your level of happiness.

Each of us lives within and operates out of a complex set of beliefs that define us and the world in which we live. 

Beliefs are our reality-making blueprint—the way in which we process the flood of information that comes in through our five major sense organs every single moment of every single day. Your beliefs organize the world for you. Without them to help you interpret the massive dose of stimuli that comes at you on a daily basis, you would be overwhelmed the minute you open your eyes in the morning.

So how can I expect change?

When you focus your energy on changing your actions you are fighting the tide. You are only changing on the surface. The highest leverage and biggest impact for making changes is at the belief level.

The subconscious drives a majority of our behavior. 95% of our thoughts are at the subconscious level. We are basically on autopilot. We make many decisions at the subconscious level and we find ways to justify why we are making that decision.

Your subconscious doesn’t care if you are happy. It only cares about survival (this is biologically programmed). It wants to keep your identity alive. Therefore it locks you into behavioral patterns again and again that are sometimes destructive, even when at the conscious level you want to change. (Ex. New Year’s resolution diet)

The subconscious is extremely powerful! The subconscious will lock you into a behavioral pattern. Even negative patterns. The subconscious mind sees change as dangerous. Change is resisted because it is dangerous & unknown. Even if your conscious mind knows it is beneficial. Remember your subconscious doesn’t care if you are happy or successful it cares that you preserve your identity and changes to your identity are perceived as dangerous. The filter your subconscious uses are your beliefs about the world.

Limiting Belief examples: 

  1. Fear of success  Ex: I am already overwhelmed, I am afraid I won’t be able to deliver on the promises I make, I’m afraid of a loss of freedom, I am afraid to trust people.
  2. Fear of failure:  Ex: I might get rejected, people might not like me.

 

Core limiting beliefs:

  1. I am not enough (people pleaser)
  2. The world is dangerous (controlling)

How to break down Limiting Beliefs:

3 step process:

  1. Become aware of your limiting beliefs
  2. Challenge the truth behind those limiting belief
  3. Implant, normalize & pattern new beliefs and identity into your subconscious 

 

Meditation is an amazing tool to get in touch with your thoughts and what is going on in your mind. I love the INSIGHT Timer App. Start with 5-10min guided meditation 2x day morning and before bed.

Look at and write down negative fears and emotions you have around something you want to do. Keep a running list of your limiting beliefs. Use Apps such as Evernote.

How can I question the truth behind a limiting belief I have?

There is a four-question framework by Byron Katie from the Work

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can I absolutely know it is true? (this is much deeper) Has anyone ever proven this wrong?
  3. How do I react when I think that thought. (dig in feel the thought, feel the anger frustration, sadness etc.)
  4. Who would I be without that thought? Be more successful, happy, abundant, etc.

Take the belief you had and create a new belief. Ex. The world is full of love & joy. I am happy, calm, and loving.

 

Identity Patterning:

Put your hand over your heart really feel into and say your statement out loud.

Ex. The more successful I am the more freedom I will have!

 

Then imagine it in your mind as powerfully as you can. Feel the emotions and ground them in. 

Use imagery, photos, music, etc.

Repeat 2x day for a week and see how you feel, anchor it in.

Speak to your subconscious on an emotional level. It’s giving your subconscious a new choice. So when your subconscious faces the same situation it can choose a different reality.

 

I hope you enjoy these techniques and let me know which one you plan to implement today!

 

Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]

 

Follow me on Instagram www.instagram.com/hillaryfoster_mft for more info about relationship struggles and how to deal with them!

 

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